This week, I’ve been reflecting on my spending patterns and how that has affected relationships in my life. About ten years ago, I was dating a man who I loved more than any other man I had dated before, or since. I now see that we were not a good match, but I was enchanted by him for over two years. I remember us walking back to my condo after picking up pizza across the street in Edmonton, and he was telling me about his habits in spending. He didn’t own a car or TV. He said, “I am really good with my monies.” (We always made words cute; he called me Ang-oo and we always asked the dogs, “How is you?”). He asked me how I was with money, and I told him I was between him and a woman we both knew, who was pretty bad with money. Well, I was actually pretty bad with money, too. I had bought a condo at the top of my budget, used the RRSP First Time Home Buyers Plan as my deposit and had no emergency fund. So, instead, I used credit cards as money. I knew that difference in money matters was a huge sore spot with him, so I did my best to hide my stress over money.
About 5 years ago, I went to a dinner party at a friend’s house. There were 5 of us there; I knew 2 of the people and the other 2 were brand new to me. We were talking about shopping, shoes, or clothes. I shared something that I had recently bought. My friend said (in front of everyone) that she makes way more money than me, but I spend way more than her. There was alcohol. Perhaps maybe too much alcohol. My friend kept talking about my spending and asked how it was possible that I could spend more than her. I told her that I hadn’t asked for financial advice, so please don’t give it. I was really upset, so I left. I was angry that she had criticized me so openly with people that I only met that night, and that I hadn’t asked for financial counsel. After reflecting on this, 5 years later, I can see that her heart was in the right place, changes did need to happen in my spending, her method was just very embarrassing and hurtful. She apologized a few days later and made amends. The five of us are still good friends and I appreciate each of them. We recently got together, and I shared about my blog & shopping ban. I had some good convos with these friends about it. I said that I was very glad to be taking charge of my money. We talked about having several saving accounts to help set personal finance goals. I said I have almost brainwashed myself; since I move money into different accounts, I don’t even consider it money, I see it as invested, gone, and not available to spend.
This week, I opened a new savings account titled, “Winter Tire Fund”, and set up an automatic deposit each month so I can buy winter tires in November. By then, it will be fully funded and then some. I will sell my current winter tires on 17” rims. My new vehicle has 18” rims, so I will be using my black rims and switching the summer tires and new winter tires. The tires will be much easier to move in and out of my storage locker. In the past, I would charge a big ticket item, like tires, and then pay off the balance over many, many months. I am feeling proud of my progress so far, and it is motivating. I thought when I started that I’d be super sad, deprived, and constantly missing out. But I don’t. This feels good.
